|Quibbler # 1
||[Jun. 30th, 2006|10:38 am]
The Quibbler -- Online!
Well, as no one seems to have any conspiracy theories to report, I thought I'd get this little online magazine started. Don't worry, you can still use the Conspiracy Post if anything comes to your attention!|
So, without further ado, here is the article.
A few years ago, when Cornelius Fudge was drummed out of office by the enraged public, Rufus Scrimgeour took his place. Everyone loves him, and the consensus is that he's been doing an excellent job. No one has ever questioned how he got into office; it's been assumed that he did it in a perfectly acceptable and legal way.
BUT DID HE???
Recent evidence has come to light that suggests that Rufus Scrimgeour may not be the saint and savior that some make him out to be. A Ministry official who wished to remain nameless told me, "Rufus Scrimgeour isn't a savior, he's a lion -- and I mean that literally!"
When I asked the official to explain, he or she continued, "Rufus Scrimgeour is an unregistered lion Animagus. I know. I've seen him transform."
Obviously, the fact that the Minister of Magic has broken the law and failed to register his Animagus form is newsworthy in and of itself. But that's not all.
"That's how he became Minister," said the anonymous official. "He mauled the other candidates. I personally saw him kill Apollo Gingersol."
This startling revelation would explain several recent strange occurances, including the deaths of several high-profile members of the Ministry. This reporter only hopes that, now that the truth is out, the Minister will be brought to justice, and that in his place, we may finally have an uncorrupt Minister.
That's all for today, then!