||[Jul. 2nd, 2006|03:06 pm]
The Quibbler -- Online!
It is time once again for a conspiracy! This time, however, it is much more serious than a rogue Boggart...
On the seemingly innocent community of Livejournal users, a most interesting and unusual phenomenon has occurred. Waffles. They are seen everywhere. In icons, in MS Paint art, in posts, in comment threads. Everywhere. But what is the meaning of it all? Is it simply that everyone shares a fondness for waffles? Perhaps it would seem so to the unassuming eye, but revealing interviews tell us otherwise.
This interviewer and her fellow Quibbler Online writer have had suspicions regarding the significance of the prevalence of waffles for some time. A direct approach was taken, and the results were shocking. In this comment thread, the reader can clearly see how, despite his initial cool, Lord Voldemort quickly becomes flustered and defensive when subjected to claims that his waffle obsession may in fact represent something far more sinister. Overuse of the CAPSLOCK suggests that he is perhaps in denial, or that he is fully aware that he has something to hide.
Despite his lack of cooperation, with a little more prodding, we were able to get a confession. Here, we see Lord Voldemort's panic at being found out. Clearly, he is guilty.
Yes, friends. What seemed like a completely innocent liking for waffles is in fact a coverup for cannibalism.